Don’t be Thrown Into a Spiral by Overwhelm

The first thing to do to prevent being thrown into a downward spiral by overwhelm is to be realistic.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by life – the things we have to do, the things we need to do, the things we should do, and we complain vociferously about how impossible it is to juggle all the balls we have in the air.  As a result, your stomach is tied in knots at night when you go to sleep.

You think about how you should be visiting family more often, that you should be making more time for your children, friends, and partner. You think about how you should do this, and how you should do that, and you should really be sleeping, but you can’t because you’re in a total state of overwhelm.

So, what do you do? If you were to sit down and write out a list of all the things you think that you should be doing, you’d probably need a large notebook to fit it all in. It would be literally impossible to complete all of the tasks that you believe you should be tackling.

You start to feel guilty about your inability to keep up, you’re exhausted, you spread yourself thin in a bid to tick everything off, and you can easily slide into a depression because of all of that. Your commitments get longer, your time disappears, and you are soaking in the tears of overwhelm.

Rather than trying to fulfill the list of things that you believe or think that you should be doing – stop. Take a deep breath and think seriously about what you need to accomplish. You can break it down into four categories – work, family, yourself, and relationships.

Work is different for everyone and your duties there will depend on the type of work that you do. So, we’re going to focus on the other categories and based on that, you can decide for yourself how best to manage the overwhelm related to work.

Family

There are certain things that you will have to do for your parents, spouse, children, and even extended family members. Do others place expectations on you that appear on your list even though you don’t actually have to do them? For example, you may feel like you have to call and speak to a parent every day. Your parent expects you to call and chat with them daily to talk about your day and your life.

By the time you get home from work and fulfill the rest of your duties, you are exhausted, and the thought of spending an hour on the phone is simply overwhelming. This is an expectation that someone else has put on you and you don’t have to fulfill that. You’re not responsible for their happiness or their entertainment, even if they are a parent

If you have limited energy (which you do), you have to decide how best to spend it and not be draining it unnecessarily by giving in to perceived obligations.

You

We all feel as though we should be doing everything.  One of the biggest reasons we fall into this trap is because we try to measure ourselves against other people. Don’t. It doesn’t matter what Denise from Accounting has achieved, forget about what Barker from HR does at the weekend.

Your life is about you, and your overwhelm stems from unnecessary comparisons. You don’t have to achieve a certain thing by a certain age. Your life is your own path, so be kind to yourself.

Relationships

Your relationships include friends and organizations that you may be tied to, like a sports team or your church. You probably feel as though you need to be more involved, that you should give more of your time, or of yourself. You’re afraid of being perceived as selfish, but your energy is limited.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Anyone who thinks it is will be perfectly happy to abuse your boundaries and that’s just not right.

There are many different stages of life. There are times for receiving and times for giving. When you’re a student, work full-time, have young children, care for an elderly family member, you have less time. That’s okay. Don’t feel guilty about that or allow yourself to be overwhelmed by others wants and demands of you.