Personal Power – What Exactly is it?

We all have different images and ideas when we hear the word power. Some people may associate “power” with dominance or control, whilst others may look at it as authoritativeness. Perhaps you think only certain types of people have power, or that power should be used to make others feel inferior. However, if you choose to look at power in a positive light, you can learn to harness and grow your own personal power.

Many people do not really consider the power they have within themselves to reach their own potential or to carry out their personal goals, but it is there within each of us. While other forms of power may seek to manipulate or persuade others, personal power is all about self-realization and transcending your goals in life.

There are many ways that you likely give away your power to others on a regular basis. Most of these are subtle but nonetheless powerful indicators that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for others’ needs or wishes. Being jealous, fearing rejection, or engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors are ways that you may give up your personal power and hinder your abilities to reach your goals.

What is Personal Power

• Self-assertion, and a naturally healthy desire for love, satisfaction, and meaning in your interpersonal relationships and your relationship with yourself
• It is your own confidence, competence, and strength that you are constantly acquiring over the course of your own learning and development
• The positive and natural pursuit of meaning, love, and personal satisfaction in your life
• Mastering yourself and not others
• The ability to change the direction of your life, just as much as it’s your ability to make the conscious choice to stay the course
• Your developed and natural strength, confidence and competence are all rooted in your personal power, fueled by it and fuel it in return
• Represents and is the end result of all the work you’ve put forward for self-realization and self-actualization
• Your personal motivation to succeed and become your best self
• Your ability to stand up for yourself, your needs and your desires
• The ability to stand up to adversity and be resilient in the face of life’s challenges
• Taking responsibility for what happens to you in life
• Taking responsibility for choices you make instead of being a “victim” of life
• Understanding the difference between that which you can control and that which you cannot
• Never letting anyone take advantage of you
• Protecting yourself from harm, be it physical, emotional or psychological
• The ability to take proactive a stance instead of making excuses, complaining or blaming
• The ability to make decisions and accept the consequences
• Going after everything you want in life with drive, motivation and an earnest desire

Other Forms of Power

There are other, more negative types of power, including covert and overt power. Covert power is more passive-aggressive, manifesting in behaviors that try to make others feel angry, guilty, or fearful.

When someone engages in covert or negative power, they themselves feel incompetent or weak, so they attempt to mask this by behaving in hurtful or manipulative ways toward others. Many people who use covert negative power also engage in self-destructive habits.

Overt negative power is more recognizable, as it is characterized by the use of force, coercion, or domination to control other people. Many people who use this type of interpersonal skillset also have underlying psychological problems, such as narcissism, sociopathic tendencies, or anger issues.

Overt power can lead to a kind of addiction that causes the person to crave the feelings they get when they make others feel scared. This “high” helps these people deny their own negative feelings and pain.

Harnessing Your Personal Power

Reclaiming your personal power is the first step toward self-actualization. Knowing that you are relinquishing your power to others is the first step toward reclaiming that power and using it in positive ways to help you achieve your dreams and become the person you long to be.

You can learn to take back your power through behavior modification techniques that will alleviate your negative feelings toward yourself and help you live a life filled with meaning, confidence, happiness, and love.

6 Key Steps to Develop Your Personal Power

Gaining personal power is something you must want and work for, not something that will magically happen just  because you want it. Your personal power comes from inside you, not from external sources, jobs, or titles. Learning how to generate and keep your personal power, then, is a lifelong process.

Learning to cultivate and own your personal power will provide you with many benefits. When others see that you are confident, you will be perceived as influential, capable, and effective in your role. You will likely be seen as a leader or as someone who may be able to advise or help others.

Personal power makes you a role model to others, including your own family and friends. Owning your personal power helps you create and sustain lasting relationships in all aspects of your life as well as achieve your goals and dreams.

We all have personal power within us, but it is up to each of us to learn how to connect with and harness that power for ourselves. Here are six key steps you can use to develop your personal power, starting today.

1. Declare Your Ambitions

Acknowledging what it is you want to do in this world, and declaring it aloud to others, is a powerful step toward reclaiming your personal power. If you want to be successful, you must not be afraid that you want to be successful. Whatever it is in your life that you want to become competent and confident with, you must not be afraid to share what you are looking for. Never apologize for your ambitions, as these are the goals that are driving your life. Denying or keeping your ambitions secret robs you of the power that comes when others know of your desires and goals.

2. Admit Your Fears

Learning to acknowledge your fears is also a step toward reclaiming your personal power. The negative thoughts that have kept you feeling powerless or unable to reach your dreams are all driven by fears of some kind.

These emotions are sabotaging your ability to succeed. Learning to admit your fears can help you see them for what they are, which are simply emotions that have no power over your life. Accepting personal power means realizing that you have control over these anxieties and can learn to stop letting them dominate your life.

3. Silence Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is keeping you from realizing your dreams and accepting your personal power. Instead of telling yourself why you can’t do something or what is wrong with you, replace these negative words with a positive affirmation. Your negative self-talk keeps you from taking actions that could lead to more success, so instead, repeat positive thoughts to yourself whenever you hear that inner critic start to speak.

4. Know When to Ask for Help

Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It means you understand that we all need help to grow and become better or stronger, and asking for help is the most effective and efficient way to get where you want to be. Increase your chances of success by asking for help when you need it.

5. Adopt a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is one that is open to learning, and since knowledge is power, this will help you reclaim your personal power, as well. Becoming more curious, listening more to others, and keeping an open mind are all examples of a growth mindset in action. You don’t know everything and accepting this and being open to everything as a learning experience will help you feel more confident and regain the power that is yours.

6. Make a Habit of Unplugging

Learning to embrace quiet times and to do things just for you is important to becoming more personally powerful. In these alone times, you can think about your needs, spend time becoming more creative, and get away from the pressures of your daily life. Reconnecting with yourself can help you name your needs, find your passions, and help you work on your personal power goals.